I want to start by saying your early 30's are HARD and in a few short days I turn 35. I mean it isn't as big of a milestone as 30 or 40 but it seems like a big number. Jay and I often reflect on how great, but also how challenging your 30's can be. It is a time you are getting into the swing with your career or for Jay he didn't start his career until he was 31. You are buying homes, starting families, struggling to find a balance between, work, marriage, kids, family, and friends. For some of us, our interests fall to the wayside because weekends are no longer about skiing with your buddies, they are now about taking down Christmas lights and spending time with your family. For a lot of females especially stay at home Moms in your 30's you can kind of lose your identity. Needless to say, I have a lot of feelings about the 30s but I also have some things I ABSOLUTELY love about it.
This photo depicts my first year of my 30's. We lived in a duplex in Portland with no AC. So we bought a window unit and on 80 + degree days we would spend all day in this bedroom even eat dinner in here. It is funny to see how different life is 5 years later, but I kind of cherish this photo the most cause it shows where we started. Jay was chief resident, working 70-80 hrs , while I was alone in a city where I had not a single ounce of help, and a very colicky baby. Sometimes the only time we would see Jay was when he'd wake up with me and the baby in the middle of the night for feedings. I still can't believe I survived that, it makes me feel like a badass.
All the things I wish I could tell myself as a first time Mom! No one prepares you for the LOVE that you experience but also the work.
Let's start with the things that are hard about your 30's then I'll get into things that I love. For females, we are trying to juggle families and this new life as a mom. I had Leo 8 days after my 30th birthday. I rang in my 30's with a bang. Not only are you trying to figure out how to care for babies we also have these new bodies that feel foreign to us. Whether that is during pregnancy or after and we have hormones that just don't seem to go back to normal after having kids and on top of that you have your kids attached to you 24/7. These were things I did not know about my 30's. I didn't realize how much my body would change and how alone time or time for myself would just fly out the door.. and let's not even talk about the lack of sleep.
I think in my early 30's I spent a lot of time worrying about finding my place of who I was in my new role, as a Mom. Figuring out how to feeling comfortable in my skin again, and trying to navigate caring for children, animals, a house, and still being a wife. The other thing I struggled with in my early 30's was the number of kids I wanted. I always thought I wanted 3 before getting married, but after having a boy and a girl and 2 absolute shit shows of deliveries (check out that story here) and Jay's not ideal work schedule I quickly became GREAT with 2. Once the kids got a little older and we were able to start traveling again, we realized 2 kids and 2 adults are pretty manageable and dare I say it even enjoyable. It was so crazy once we officially decided and took action that we were done having kids it was like this big weight had been lifted. Once we knew we had completed our family, it weirdly felt like our life was finally starting.
I think in my early 30's I spent a lot of time worrying about finding my place of who I was in my new role, as a Mom. Figuring out how to feeling comfortable in my skin again, and trying to navigate caring for children, animals, a house, and still being a wife. The other thing I struggled with in my early 30's was the number of kids I wanted. I always thought I wanted 3 before getting married, but after having a boy and a girl and 2 absolute shit shows of deliveries (check out that story here) and Jay's not ideal work schedule I quickly became GREAT with 2. Once the kids got a little older and we were able to start traveling again, we realized 2 kids and 2 adults are pretty manageable and dare I say it even enjoyable. It was so crazy once we officially decided and took action that we were done having kids it was like this big weight had been lifted. Once we knew we had completed our family, it weirdly felt like our life was finally starting.
Now I know we have crossed that finish line of kids, we have our "forever home", Jay has his career, I have found ways to keep myself (almost) too busy. It seems like we got it all figured out right. HA! I wish, I think 30-35 was probably the most challenging years of my life, a lot of fun, a lot of learning, NOT a lot of sleep, and it was hard. I felt like I was being pulled 1,000 different ways and didn't have enough to "give" anyone let alone myself. But I finally feel like the fog is lifting, dare I say it, but it seems like it is getting EASIER!
I know one thing I do love about getting older. I am happy with myself, I have figured out a way to prioritize things that are important to me and I do them. I am more comfortable in my skin now at 35 than I ever was in my 20's. I have realized it is ok to cut out the bullshit. If it doesn't serve you then you don't need to make time for it. But I have also realized to pour time into the things that do matter.
The best part about getting older is when friends are taking shots of Jose Cuervo you get to say HELL NO "I only do shots of fancy (quality) tequila" and you don't even care that they are $20. You can afford it, but you can't afford a hangover with kids. You are simply wiser in your 30's! I think 35-40 is when you hit your stride. I welcome 35 and I can't wait to see what happens in our lives from 35-40.
I know one thing I do love about getting older. I am happy with myself, I have figured out a way to prioritize things that are important to me and I do them. I am more comfortable in my skin now at 35 than I ever was in my 20's. I have realized it is ok to cut out the bullshit. If it doesn't serve you then you don't need to make time for it. But I have also realized to pour time into the things that do matter.
The best part about getting older is when friends are taking shots of Jose Cuervo you get to say HELL NO "I only do shots of fancy (quality) tequila" and you don't even care that they are $20. You can afford it, but you can't afford a hangover with kids. You are simply wiser in your 30's! I think 35-40 is when you hit your stride. I welcome 35 and I can't wait to see what happens in our lives from 35-40.
Cheers to our best year,
Jess
Jess
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