Oh goodness here we go, today wanted to share with you my fears of it not just being Leo and I anymore. As we are expecting baby sister any day now. Staying home with Leo has been life's greatest blessing. Although at times it has seemed really hard it has been so worth it. We had Leo during Jay's final year of residency while living in Portland where we had no support system. Jay's hours were rough, the weather was terrible, and living in a duplex was challenging as I was constantly worried his cries would wake up our neighbors. There were trying days but they soon faded and the days continued to get better. Jay graduated and we moved back to the Tri-Cities where we have a huge support system. Jay worked less, Leo became easier, and most of all we had help. Leo is now 2.5 years old and despite his Dad working a lot less I still am solo parenting quite often. But I don't dread the days or nights anymore alone with him, I actually look forward to them as I love our time we have together. So with that being said this stay at home mama is having a hard time giving up all my one on one with my sweet little boy. Today I share those feelings and fears as I write a little letter to Leo. I am sure one day he will read this and be so embarrassed but I know I will love to look back at this and remember how I was feeling the days leading up to baby sisters arrival.
To My First Born,
As the days tick down to our new baby arrival I am so nervous for the transition. We will welcome your baby sister and you to step into the much anticipated role of big brother. All this excitement and wonder comes with a nervous feeling, will I have enough time for you, will our routine change, will I have to give up some of my favorite moments with you? I am just not ready to give up our morning routine when you wake up and ask me to crawl into your bed and we talk all about storms, bandits, or monsters letting our mornings tick by. But the reality is baby sister and time just might not allow that as often.
We’ve experienced so much life together and much of the time it has just been the two of us. I still remember when your Daddy went back to work and I knew there would be days on end where no one but me would be able to hold you. I dreaded that day but once we faced it together and the day was done I realized it wasn't that bad. As your Dad finished his last few months of residency the two of us did the best we could. As the months ticked by we watched you grow out of the fussy baby stage and into the child you are today. We have watched your eyes lit up in excitement over seeing "dinosaurs" at the zoo, we have let your imagination run wild when talking about storms, snow monsters, and caves, and we have witnessed you turning into a kind, patient and oh so easy little boy that you are today. The last few months I have made a point to try and take in each and every little moment with you and try and see the world through your curious eyes and I am better for that. The last 2.5 years have been the best years of my life and I know of your Dad's too.
But, things are a changing and I might not be able to drop everything for all those tiny moments. I might not be able to play hide and seek at a snap of a finger or read you that book another 3 times. Your baby sister will need me and I will have to split my time between the two of you. You will figure out this is our new regular and I know you will take on the big brother role with ease as it fits your personality so well. Soon you won't remember a time where it wasn't you and your sister. But I will, I will forever remember the lazy days where we played in our PJs till 11 and the EASE of taking care of just one child. But now you will have a friend, someone to share your childhood memories with, and someone to play and teach. Baby sister won't have me all to herself like you did, but she will have You and You will have her and that is life's biggest blessing. I know you will be such a great big brother and she is so lucky to have someone like "Beefy Leo" to protect her.
So Leo, thank you for being so special. For showing us what life is really all about, thank you for letting me get in all the extra cuddles and "big hugs" these last few weeks. I have not taken this alone with for you granted and I am so lucky that we have had so much time together. And that You and You alone have changed our life for the absolute best and we know your sister will do the same.
Love,
Mommy
As the days tick down to our new baby arrival I am so nervous for the transition. We will welcome your baby sister and you to step into the much anticipated role of big brother. All this excitement and wonder comes with a nervous feeling, will I have enough time for you, will our routine change, will I have to give up some of my favorite moments with you? I am just not ready to give up our morning routine when you wake up and ask me to crawl into your bed and we talk all about storms, bandits, or monsters letting our mornings tick by. But the reality is baby sister and time just might not allow that as often.
We’ve experienced so much life together and much of the time it has just been the two of us. I still remember when your Daddy went back to work and I knew there would be days on end where no one but me would be able to hold you. I dreaded that day but once we faced it together and the day was done I realized it wasn't that bad. As your Dad finished his last few months of residency the two of us did the best we could. As the months ticked by we watched you grow out of the fussy baby stage and into the child you are today. We have watched your eyes lit up in excitement over seeing "dinosaurs" at the zoo, we have let your imagination run wild when talking about storms, snow monsters, and caves, and we have witnessed you turning into a kind, patient and oh so easy little boy that you are today. The last few months I have made a point to try and take in each and every little moment with you and try and see the world through your curious eyes and I am better for that. The last 2.5 years have been the best years of my life and I know of your Dad's too.
But, things are a changing and I might not be able to drop everything for all those tiny moments. I might not be able to play hide and seek at a snap of a finger or read you that book another 3 times. Your baby sister will need me and I will have to split my time between the two of you. You will figure out this is our new regular and I know you will take on the big brother role with ease as it fits your personality so well. Soon you won't remember a time where it wasn't you and your sister. But I will, I will forever remember the lazy days where we played in our PJs till 11 and the EASE of taking care of just one child. But now you will have a friend, someone to share your childhood memories with, and someone to play and teach. Baby sister won't have me all to herself like you did, but she will have You and You will have her and that is life's biggest blessing. I know you will be such a great big brother and she is so lucky to have someone like "Beefy Leo" to protect her.
So Leo, thank you for being so special. For showing us what life is really all about, thank you for letting me get in all the extra cuddles and "big hugs" these last few weeks. I have not taken this alone with for you granted and I am so lucky that we have had so much time together. And that You and You alone have changed our life for the absolute best and we know your sister will do the same.
Love,
Mommy
Cue some tears from this mama. But I really wanted to write down what I was feeling in the days leading up our new arrival. Don't get me wrong I'm so excited to meet the new baby but I'm also nervous for the change. I know I felt this way when we were waiting for Leo. We were so ready but we didn't know what life would look like. It ended up being the best change we could of ever had and I know adding another baby will be the same.
And since this will probably be my last blog post before baby I wanted to share with you a few of our maternity photos. Like I've said before my maternity photos have ended up being some of my most cherished and favorite photos. If you are on the fence about taking them I highly recommend it. I get asked a lot what week I did mine at. I believe I'm about 32 weeks here....where the bump is still cute but not overwhelming! Per usual Leo was an Allstar and the star of the show, but we wouldn't want it any other way!
And since this will probably be my last blog post before baby I wanted to share with you a few of our maternity photos. Like I've said before my maternity photos have ended up being some of my most cherished and favorite photos. If you are on the fence about taking them I highly recommend it. I get asked a lot what week I did mine at. I believe I'm about 32 weeks here....where the bump is still cute but not overwhelming! Per usual Leo was an Allstar and the star of the show, but we wouldn't want it any other way!
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I can't wait to share with you the arrival of the baby and what we end up picking for her name. The name is in Jay's hands so we shall see. I know Leo will do great becoming a big brother and I just hope I am able to still carve out some time everyday for just the two of us. Until then we will continue spoiling him rotten this week during "only child week". On yesterdays list was dirt pile playing and on todays agenda is mini golf.
Cheers,
Jess
Cheers,
Jess